What's with the slapping?
by puertorrican-babe
Summary: Hinata just can't keep herself from slapping her husband. Just some good old one-shot fun.


'SLAP'

Silence….

Suddenly a loud protest could be heard from the dark haired heartthrob of Konoha "That's mine you know!"

"D-do not touch me." Said a certain heiress that could pass off as a very cute tomato.

"Don't cross me _Hi-na-ta_. I always, and I mean always, get what I want. I want to touch it so that is exactly what I'm going to do!"

"N-no you w-w-won't. Could you p-please go take a…"

The avenger didn't give her time to finish her sentence; after all he knew what she was going to say. Besides he wanted to touch it and he would not be denied any longer. Couldn't she understand that when he sets himself to do something he would stop at nothing to get it. "I do NOT stink so NO. I will not take a bloody bath."

"Y-you kind off d-do to me, I still I l-l-l-ov"

"Love Hina, love!!! How hard can saying a four lettered word be? KAMI! You can be irritating sometimes!" He meant every word… sort of.

*Sniff *

God damn it! God damn him and every word he said! She was going to cry now. He was going to have to go into hiding. Yes he could see it now, living in a cave and eating bugs for breakfast. It seems like every male in the vicinity couldn't help but protect his pretty little wife, after all they have all been anxiously waiting for him to screw up so they can kill him.

"Y-you don't w-w-want me any-anymore."

He knew it. Soon enough they will hear her cries and come to her rescue. He could take'em. He was a damned avenger for Kami's sakes. He was a Sannin's apprentice. Wouldn't you say he could protect himself quite nicely? Well, the only problem with that equation was her ability to recruit so many to her favor. How the hell did she do that?!? If he didn't know any better he would say his wife went into secret missions to recruit men for a massive army so she could take over the whole Fire Country. Off course everyone knows he has a very active imagination. He blamed the dobe for that one.

"Of course I still want you!" and now in a small whisper as to not startle her he said, "Now let me touch it" He said while slowly approaching her.

'SLAP'

"DAMN IT!"

"Don't use t-that language in-front of him"

"Her."

"I think i-i-it's going to be a b-boy."

"You know…" Sasuke said offhandedly, like he knew something she didn't. "… The sharingan can see in the womb and tell what the baby is going to be. You just have to let me touch your stomach. It's annoying but I may have to even rest my head in your stomach." "Just to make sure you know." He said almost as an afterthought.

Hinata started contemplating just how true that could be, after all this wouldn't be the first time he tried some kind of trick on her so he could touch her stomach. It isn't that she didn't love him; far from it, she adored her husband. It's just his _smell_ made her really nauseous. Tsunade told them it was the hormones but Sasuke wouldn't her any of it. He said Uchiha's didn't stink in any form and left it at that. She wanted to know if her baby was a girl or a boy (fingers crossed on the boy ) but could she afford loosing her lunch, again, just because he had take upon himself to claim ownership over her stomach?

While she was off in la-la land thinking things over, a certain husband of hers was slowly approaching her. Well… that was until his brother-in-law grabbed him by the neck and pushed against the wall.

"Put me down! Don't you have a hair appointment or something to go to! Let go of me!"

The Hyuga ignored the bastard and directed his eyes to his beloved cousin/sister. "Are you ok Hinata-sama. I heard you crying. Can I dispose of him now? We can make it look like an accident you know. I already have several plans we can go over."

Damn, did this feminine looking bastard have cameras installed in his house? He would have to check that latter, right now he had to get out of his hold.

… And what the hell did he mean he had several plans.

Hinata could only stare at her protector with a blank face; he didn't mean anything he said. Did he? Well she was going to have to wait and ask later because her husbands' head was starting to change in color. That can't be healthy! "Neji-nisan, c-could you p-please put him d-down."

"Do I HAVE to?"

"Yes, y-yes you do."

"You'll end up screwing things up eventually Uchiha, and when you do I will be there to finish things once and for all."

"I think-k I would like my child t-to grow up with his f-father." She _really_ felt the need to remind her cousin of that small detail. It was starting to freak her out just how serious he could say all those things.

"You don't need a father to grow up to be a successful person in society. If it is destined, then this kid shall be raised without a father. Look at me, I am a great example of that."

'Yeah, cause I can't wait for my kid to grow up with an obsessive compulsive disorder like you ni-san' thought the soon-to-be mother. "Ni-san, c-can I have my h-husband back?"

He looked deep into the Uchihas' direction before throwing him at his Hinata-samas' feet. "Sure, I'll even go away. But never forget, just one word from you and he 's as good as gone." With that said he disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

(Outside the Uchiha district)

"So boss, how are thing going down. Do we go with plan C or N. I loved plan N, can we do that one boss?"

"False alarm gentlemen. And Naruto, for the last time, STOP calling me boss!" Said an irritated Neji with a very peculiar vein about to pop from his skull. Everyone around was debating whether to call a medic-nin or just sit down, put some popcorn and enjoy the show.

"Sure thing boss." Said Naruto while totally enjoying the situation. Pissing him off was becoming quite amusing to the orange lover ninja… second only to bothering Sasuke mind you :p

(Inside the Uchiha home)

"S-sasuke, are you alright?" She was really concerned while tending to her husbands' injured head in her lap.

"Now I am. Do you wanna know why?" He asked with a tone that slightly concerned Hinata.

"W-w-why?"

"Cause I'm _touching it._" He said while finishing with a disturbing laugh.

It was only then that the heiress finally noticed that he had both hands clutching her stomach…

Wait for it…

Just a little more…

And "AAaaAAAAaaAAaA"

'SLAP'

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" She said while running to the nearest toilette. To bad she didn't make it and had to use Sasukes' Anbu bag for her pucking self. Not like he minded, he still was laughing that disturbing laugh while gloating about his stomach grabbing abilities. Because that stomach was his and everything that goes with it!

While all of this was going on you could faintly hear the screams of a certain dobe while he was been tortured by his so called _boss_ and the loud beats going around of just how much time it would take for him to pass out or be killed.

You know, just a normal day!

A/N: Hope you like the story. It's been a while since I've written something and I just wanted to upload something for kicks. Didn't even revised it so forgive me for any mistakes you may have found.

Enjoy those leftover turkeys!!!


End file.
